It’s one big contradiction, it doesn’t make any sense.

One minute I’m relaxed, the next I’m tense.

But seeing those clean tops ready to wear makes me no longer feel despair.

Society is a peliculiar thing, and it’s definitely not always fair.

But I’m trying to be positive again, and getting it together.

These October days are underrated, I’ll be out & about regardless of the weather.

I am human though, so I’ll carry on this energy and be keeping up this appearance.

I am very much going to be ready to get out there again soon, and having this rebellious, punky, but yet sorta sweet, nice vibe is just part of being very care free.

That is not to say that I am seeking shallow things – trust me I can get deep – I just feel no shame.

I do not have to turn to Tinder, especially at this time of the day, plus I’m not really playing the game.

There are other things to stimulate my mind, particularly as I like having my own space.

This world can be pretty hectic, I am just trying to keep up with the pace.

From time to time I get a message or two, but I am not really looking to have a relationship.

I have too much to do and that helps with my personal growth, I am so cool with embracing friendship.

As a man I’ll happily say that, I am being my own person and I am trying to have more self-respect.

But that is not to say there cannot be somewhere between having a relationship or a friendship – I have nothing to lose – no one is perfect.

I am very conscious of the feelings of others though, but perhaps it is time that I roll the dice.

I have quite the schedule & plenty going on, but sometimes you can be too precise.

I’ll stay humble & respectful for sure, but I get the feeling that there is some interest.

But I am not talking about banks or loans, it is better to be in a collective place and to be feeling at my best.

It is the small things that sometimes go undervalued, the little wins are very much part of the game.

This is about self-expression – this is a multi-player – so it can be enjoyable to gain.

So feeling the way I do, well, sometimes it is difficult to explain.

Because I do not want anyone to get emotionally hurt, myself included.

But I think it is better to keep things light – and not be so uptight – emotions may be excluded.

However, I am very weary of how everything is a trade off – very little is free – and sometimes it is better to go with the flow.

Not all answers & solutions are needed straight away – and seeking something new can be optimal today – as well as enjoying someone’s vibe & glow.

When there is a spark and chemistry, and you are feeling that energy and connection.

Yes that may be intentional, unintentional or subsconscious double meaning on a cold day – sometimes it is about the right fit – not necessarily about perfection.

This is a post that is being written in a profound way – but I am a practical thinker – and now I am thinking of how I can be staying warm in some sorta way.

Being too static in October will not help you, and now the temperature is going up in a room that contains this body heat – and a sensation that is one that makes you feel warm at the end of a working day.

Feeling needed helps too – as does getting some pleasure – it is better than feeling the strains of inflation.

Feeling satisfaction afterwards is what it is about, and feeling some appreciation.

Graft & activity is needed for the soul, escaping this so called reality & seeking enjoyment is much required.

After a long day of various demands, it is time for you to get what you really desired.

Whether this is about society, friendships or any type of emotion.

It is a way of entering another zone, feeling joy & some sort of devotion.

So anyway, there are places to be, so this is about meaning and not necessarily in a dictionary sense.

Once again, I am absolutely fine with the idea of striving for more, and I suppose that it is worth the suspense.

I am feeling lots more purpose and a lot more focused – being in or around positive environments definitely does help – I am going to be reading sooner or later.

That Oxford Dictionary of Psychology is calling me – that and/or the mind is something that fascinates me – and I’ll get more from being a lover than a hater.

Things feel way more calm now & less intense – I am glad to be feeling this way – it is not always like this – but this feeling is immense.

Getting those natural highs & feeling that of euphoria is what I mainly want – I am better when I am on the attack & not in a mood – attack is my best form of defence.

Anger takes too much out of you – but sometimes I need some of it in small doses to fuel me – in a healthy way.

Giving off this positivity is no bad thing – I’ll still have an edge to me & be me – I will be high on peace today.