I think in some ways – from a non-materialistic point of view – I am where I want to be but I find it sad that it has happened without my Mum physically being here.

But I think that is why all this has happened.

I think that has why it has happened now – and because of the pandemic and all that.

Her words with are with me – in more ways than one (in my mind and on the graduation card that she wrote to me).

Plus, I am back to knowing how important it is to seek some sort of satisfaction – through challenges, feeling some sort of joy or pleasure.

Or feeling upbeat or having something that sparks something in you.

I am feeling amazing. I am excited. The possibilities are infinite.

I have done a ton of walking today – less office time – or less time in my room.

I think some of the stuff I write can be funny and deep – if that makes sense – I may as well channel these emotions.

But I know how to channel these emotions – I see these things as modes.

At uni I was focused on uni work – and I put FPL out of mind until later on in the week.

Now I can be mostly be calm but if I need to bring out some edge I can – it can be channelled creatively.

It is brilliant to feel something.

I have more ideas for Zoned Out Admirers – another name there.

I love that I have people from so many different cities and countries that enter my world – so to speak.

It can be more than just pink boxers.

Well, I’ll keep riding this crest of a wave.

This is taking control vs going with the flow – right now going with the flow is winning.