Is it that I appear to be stupid or feel stupid or is that I have felt like this for many years – well – I suppose I have wondered whether I have studied more subjects because I feel that I have to work three times harder than those who are neurotypical. I effectively taught myself Spanish – or partly – well I learnt Spanish at school in low sets. I wanted to prove people wrong – partly. Doubt is annoying – I am absolutely eager to put doubt to bed I tell you that – I have no time for doubt anymore. I wondered whether I have – at times – come up with my own type of siege mentality – but now I know now does not really work for me. Also, now I am now using emotionally pain to gain – combined with psychology insights – whatever works eh. I certaintly am looking to use my emotional intelligence a lot better again.