This is how it is. I am telling it how it is. Because I live this. It is not to say that I am not able to help myself because I am doing so. Shock horror but more than one thing can be true in a paradoxical way, I think so – it is absolutely ok for you to disagree. That is how discussions are had, understanding is had & process is made. This is very stream of consciousness now, I’ll keep going. On the spectrum style. Everything that is bought has something on the line, there are potential knock on effects. OK, this is slightly edited, with some flow. Time for a pause and a little edit. I am glad to be writing this particular post to get some edge back – it is a balancing act – control is still needed. I know that – I am getting that back. Well, writing this has been useful to write (for me).