I’m lucky enough to have fantasies, but they sometimes help me escape reality. And they help me escape the reality of being skint, not having my own independence & worrying about how things are going to be with the cost of living crisis.

So in a way, it feels wrong to have any but I can’t sleep so I need a fantasy or a dream to think about.

It’s difficult to ‘relax’ sometimes with what is going on – so many are effected by this poverty – but weirdly sometimes I can feel a sense of calmness.

It’s being very present – maybe too present – but then it’s wondering how things are going to be.

It’s like feeling trapped – or a sense of frustration – something has to give.

I feel like I’m hoping for the best.

I need to take control of my life again.

I didn’t study and work so hard for this rubbish.

But I’ll work for free, that’s all I do these days.

Perhaps it’s time I stop being so generous.

Not that I’ll stop caring.

I’m doing it because people need support.

Plus it’s a way of keeping me active, giving me a routine and more experience – I’m not really even really talking about my CV – I’m not even sure that money obssesed companies are that impressed with someone working multi voluntary jobs.

It’s the experience of reality – this is real – more real than some media outlets tell you.

I’m not sure how much I can do as one person but I’ll do my bit.

So I’m lucky to have fantasies – fantasy football – or other.