Don’t know what to do mate. I’m not crying poverty. There’s people well worse off – and that annoys me – that and the Tory attitudes that are about.

I need to pick my moments when to get the bus – bus fair wise – I’m used to walking most places anyway. I’m doing well. And I’m able to do things – so I’m still grateful for that.

This is not a self pity post – nevermind that – I’m in a good place overall but this is a letting things out post.

I’m seeing positives for sure.

I’m doing well with the grief – 14 months or so on – since my dear Ma passed on. Also, after looking after my Mum – who had Dementia for 4 years – is bound to affect anyone. I didn’t look after her alone – we had carers too – to help us. I think on some level that’s why I’m passionate about what’s going on – having seen what carers do physically & emotionally. I’ve felt a bit uneasy about talking about my Mum & other experiences I’ve had on here – but I’m trying to do it in a respectful & meaningful way.

So I won’t take shit from anyone. After going through that – I can confront anything. I’m just not a naturally confronting person though. I’ll try to be better at it. Sometimes it’s best to be above it, raise above it etc. I just try to be sound to people and use the empathy that I’ve gained from these tough experiences.

Yes, I go deep on here.

Yes, I go deep on here.

Yes, I go deep on here.

It’s taken years but I’ve became this confident. I need to get a balance. I’m working on some issues but that’s boss. I’m doing what I want. Within reason. Because I’m rebellious. But I love – yes I’m using an abstract noun there – expressing myself by showing my music tops & wearing what I want.

My Mum’s essence is with me on some level. I know I won’t let her passing be in vein. Far from it.

People need to wake the fuck up. The poverty in the UK is beyond a joke – plus other issues worldwide – it’s good to be concious of worldwide issues too . I don’t know what to do about it – it’s desperately sad.

I can have ‘success’ but what’s the point if other people are struggling too. But I know I have to keep at it. It’s a tough world & I’ll stand tall – quite literally man.

Profits from businesses are through the roof – mental health problems continue with one of the biggest killers of men being suicide.

Praise is no bad thing, we need it. So many people don’t feel like they can be themselves because of how society is. Well bollocks to that. REBEL.

I’ll do little things like RT Enough Is Enough, use social media in a positive way etc. Also, by sharing positive things to people.

35th day in a row of posting – I think anyway – what is time. It’s the 6th today isn’t it. Yeah. Sound. Being very vulnerable at times – it’s like getting naked – in a sense. Being fucking real – with some fantasy too – doin’ some fantasy stuff on here helps balance it out I think & it’s a way of making things fun, getting creative & imaginative – providing I do it in a respectful way.

I’ll keep laughing. I’ll keep smiling. I’ll keep being an open person – let alone an open man.

I’ll look to take a bit of a break from all this though – not all together but manage how I use social media/my site – managing my minutes fantasy footy style.

It’s helped me not be lonely though by sharing music or whatever.

I need to get out of this funk & listen to some punk. Some of the problems I have are lucky compared to other people’s. So I’ll get out rockin’ again. This needle I have is brilliant – when it’s managed & channeled well.

Come on lad. Be positive. (I’m trying).

Sound. Write what ya want within reason. (I am mate).

Keep being different. (I am lid).

Got The Roots on now. What a band. I’ll get moving soon.

Roots crew coming at ya.

Getting to the root of the problems defo helps.

So it’s time for positive, bright & satisfying thoughts – I’m trying to manage them better – whilst listening to Black Thought (The Roots).

If I’ve upset people then I’m sorry. I’m big enough to say that. Too much pride holds ya back I think. I’m really raw. But yet being determined can definitely take you forward. I know I need to snap out of this. I’ve defo done some passionate content though. I’ll continue to do so. I need to look out for people.

Right. A lefty. Ready to take on the world again.