Started listenin’ to the first 5

Got really bored

Turned it off

Don’t know the score

Hang on

Was 0-0 a min ago

Still might be

Who’s arsed

I’m sitting under a tree

And it’s sound

In the words of IDLES ‘I know nothing I’m just sittin’ here looking at these pretty colours’

Villa Vs The Ev

Who played for both

Can’t think

Gerrard Vs Lampard eh

Sound

I’m sure the media haven’t mentioned that at all

5 Live did a bit

I like 5 Live mostly though to be fair

I’ve still got The Doors on

I’ll check the score again now

*** leaves the app for a min ***

0-0

Well in 4G

Nature’s WiFi mate

1-0 Villa

Ings

Just checked then

Well in internet

Well LiveScore actually

2-1 Villa

Full time

3 pms now

Having a bev

Apparently it’s 4-0 to Brentford

I’ve defo had a few bevvies

Met a few mates

No way that’s right

Apparently it is

City and Arsenal won then

No surprises there

The diaries of a casual here mate

A Desmond (2-2) between Southampton and Leeds

2 0-0s

4 professional teams couldn’t put *** the round thing *** in the rectangular thing there

Cancelo got an assist and a clean sheet did he yeah

Sound (FPL wise that is)